The Other Brew Crew
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Bulletin Subject: PORK SALE
Well its that time of year again. I will be taking orders and deposits for whole and half sides of pork for delivery in Sept. These are all pasture raised grain fed hogs, No steroids,, No hormones. All meat is USDA INSP. I raise a limited number and I do sell out. For more information contact or call Jeff S.
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I wonder if we could take early delivery and do a pig roast at BM :)
Black Doug
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That sounds amazing ... as long as we share. I don't want to be eating leftover pork everyday.
Also, I'm not sure how the hippies will react when they see a whole pig turning on a spit under our canopy. Maybe half a pig
Israel
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Dude,
Obviously you haven’t been keeping up on the eplaya forums. Hippies, it seems, love pork:
http://eplaya.burningman.com/viewtopic.php?f=323&t=63210
Black Doug
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Sold! Count me in.
But back to earlier conversations…if we kept it live it would be fresher until we actually wanted to eat it…
CNP
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We will have to learn how to deal with attachment issues. After spending a couple days in the car with the pig, one or more of us might turn soft and not want to man up and eat it. We should have a designated executioner who is not allowed any contact with the pig until we get to burning man.
Israel
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I agree. Israel will probably get attached
White Doug
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Alright then, if that's how you feel. I'm naming the pig Doug Jr. and leaving it to you to kill.
Israel
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Does that mean that meenan has to clean up the gutting of Doug Jr? remember: leave no trace!
Black Doug
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Ew.
CNP
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I have decided that all of us need to join the world beer tour at old Chicago I just joined. Getting my stein is now a goal in life
White Doug
PS if you name the pig white Doug Jr that effectively makes me White Doug Sr.
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I'm down with the world beer tour.
Also, after reading the burn rules, we can't bring live animals into burning man, so we would have to kill White Doug Jr. outside burning man somewhere in the desert. I was watching youtube videos on how to kill a pig, and it's really violent. I'm not sure I could slit a throat. Maybe if it wasn't so intrusive. Is it possible to shake a pig to death, like shaking baby syndrome . . . but with a pig?
Also, I thought of a way to kill two birds with one stone. We are going to at least shower off before getting back into the vehicle at the end of the week, so we don't dust up and stink up the car. I'm thinking about buying a water bed bladder, filling it with water and sleeping on it during the week, then, at the end of the week, hang it, poke holes in it, and use it as a shower. It would probably hold enough water for all of us to shower. What do you think?
Israel
P.S. Yes, you are White Doug, Sr., the other other white meat.
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First off: starting my day by reading about Shaking pig syndrome has immediately made it better.
Secondly: Israel, you are to be supervised whenever holding Scarlet. Just saying. And how is shaking a pig to death less gruesome than slitting it’s throat? Maybe if we bring one of those paint shaking machines….
We could also eat a cow. Every year, a certain number of cows are killed by the traffic to BM (cars hit cows, and people leave them on the side of the road).
If it’s fresh enough, why not just load one of these cows up and cook it as soon as we get there?
As for the Beer thing: I suppose there’s no reason not to sign up for the card. But their advertising is deceiving Señor White Doug:
No man who has set out to drink 110 beers, has women at his flanks like this guy:
Israel, there’s also several holes in your waterbed plan (pun intended). Assuming a full (double) sized 9 inch thick water bed mattress, you’d need about 158 gallons of water to fill it, weighing about 1340 lbs. Also, waterbeds are terrible for sex (I had one for a while).
How to get that much water there, How to get it into the bed, how to move the bed, how to suspend the bed to safely shower under it, how to poke the mattress in a way that it doesn't catastrophically fail and dump all the water immediately, how to dispose of the gray water when we’re finished….
I could go on, but instead, how about we buy 2 of these: Camp Shower
If you’re careful, you can get about 2 showers out of one of these (if memory serves me right from Philmont).
Señor Black Douglas XIII Esq.
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Alright. I agree Israel you shouldn't be left alone with Doug's kid and how big of a pig are we talking? Most normal size pigs would be too heavy to pick up and shake to death. And a paint shaker might be a little expensive and still might not be large enough to accommodate a pig. Plus I think shaken to death in a paint shaker would be cruel and unusual punishment
I doubt that the person in the picture was supposed to be interpreted as having consumed 110 beers in one sitting. I figure it will take about 5 years to get my stein there. Also we might be doing a podcast at old Chicago sometime late april or mid may for my fundraiser for my bike ride.
Also Israel has a girlfriend now so I doubt he was considering having copious amounts of sex on it. Actually considering your list of unknowns I doubt he did much thinking at all about that
Lastly Black Doug and your names. What did Israel and I tell you. You are not an esquire. Also you are not an 8th not are you Mexican
White Doug
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I love that in “Señor Black Douglas XIII Esq.”, you argue that I’m not an esquire, the 8th, or Mexican; yet while it’s clearly obvious that I am descendent from Caucasia, there is no argument from you for calling myself black?
His Eminence Lord Black Douglas
PS – I am descendent from British royalty, and I can get ordained online… So if you choose to argue this further, just know that I’ve recently stumbled across this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Index_of_religious_honorifics_and_titles
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And a descendent of Genghis Khan. Which also makes you part horny Asian warlord.
Sir Timothy the First
CNP
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New product idea!
Are you descendent from Genghis Khan DNA test.
© Douglas Rindfleisch
I seriously need to start writing this stuff down… I had an awesome product idea yesterday, but I’ve already forgotten it. Luckily I’ve remembered my chair frame-pack idea long enough to have it in the design phase now.
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I like how XIII clearly = 13, but White Doug called it the 8th and Black Doug not only didn't correct him but called it the 8th too.
Even if it were IIIX, that = 7. Where the hell did 8 come from?
Sincerely,
Rabbi Israel.
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Oh yea, I suppose that would be the
13th. It was supposed to be VIII. IIIX is invalid btw… only 1
smaller denomination in front of the larger to indicate subtraction.
Black Doug
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See
Black Doug and I just communicate on a level that is beyond you
Israel. I knew what he was thinking and that's why I said 8th. I
definitely cracked up at the break table at work and made people
wonder. Great conversation btw
White Doug
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I need to stop reading these in
public work-cubes.
People walk past my massive
spreadsheet of red failing financial numbers…and I am shaking with
laughter. Not good.
CNP
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Or maybe you need to figure out how
to fill your spreadsheet with black numbers
White Doug
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I’m just glad I wasn’t the only
one trying to suppress laughter when reading this… I might edit it
up and post it to the podcast’s site…
Black Doug
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I was planning on reading some of
this on the podcast this week
White Doug
